For me one of the most intriguing concepts so far this semester has been the idea of language. I guess becuase its something that i take it for granted so whole-heartedly and never think about how powerful it is. This year however i'm taking communication classes and this class which have really drilled the concept home. My comm classes have made me realize how much of a powerful and dangerous tool it can be, whereas this class has made me realize how fully gendered it is. I had an interesting experience with this when I went home for fall break. I have a 22 yr old brother who is autistic and very high functioning in some aspects but extremely delayed in others. He was staying with a 'babysitter' over night and when my mother and I went to pick him up the next day we ran into the issue of is Jacob a 'boy' or a 'man'? Since i have been away for most of the past years i havent really heard this happen but apparently my mom refuses to call him a man because she says it eliminates many of the other aspects associated with being a man. For instance, Jacob always says hes going to 'be a man and be a doctor' or 'be a man and drink beer' 'be a man and drive the schoolbus'. Obviously he will never be able to do any of these things, so to eliminate these options my mom says, 'you're not a man you're a boy'. However, when Jacob went to the babysitter, they have a 9 yr old son, so by comparison when Jake would say that he was a 'boy' the babysitter said 'no you're 22, you're a man'. This obviously made his world spin the wrong direction, but also brought up what we discussed in class. What separates the 'boys' from the 'men'? In my mom's mind, manhood clearly constitutes some level of career, education, or maybe the ability to be independent? Whereas in the mind of the babysitter, Jake is a man simply because he is 22. At first i was a bit taken aback by how harsh it seemed for my mom to call jake a boy, since he is 22, but i do get where she is coming from. Its easier to explain to jake that, no you cant drive the bus or drink beer or get married because youre a boy and boys dont do that. But why can't boys do that? Again whats the difference between boys and men? Age, intelligence, salary, size, strength? I don't have the answers but it still seemed degrading for her to call him a boy. I don't think she meant it as an insult, but thats how it sounded on the outside. However when he was younger it didn't seem mean at all to respond to his questions of why he couldnt drink beer or drive the car by telling him that he was too young, or only men do that. After all if she does call him a man, then whats the reason behind his not being able to do all the things other 'men' do. Should we just say, youre not a man youre jake? or you have to go to a special school for that? I mean it brings up very touchy subjects that obviously have to be handled on a personal level but i just thought it was very interesting that she could eliminate a whole range of possibilities just by calling him a boy and not a man.