Masculinity

Well first of all, i think the concept of masculinity as a social construct is very interesting because its so accepted that we never even really question it. Feminism gets a lot of attention because its 'going against the grain' and is always in the forefront of gender debates. Anyone someone mentions gender conflict or movements we, or at least i, always think of feminism. However unlike feminism, masculinity is not something i've ever really encountered in an academic sense, or really sat down to pick it apart. i think the biggest concept that i got was the oz factor, or never letting her behind the curtain. I think this is the mentality that most men feel they have to live up to. It pretty much sums up the common attributes associated with masculinity-never showing emotion, staying cool calm and collected-essentially putting up a flawless facade and never showing anything else. Traditionally i guess showing vulnerability could have been a matter of life/death but i don't get why it has continued to be something so prevalent within our culture. Logically we know that everyone is vulnerable, everyone cries, everyone has emotions so why is it something we have to hide from so often? I liked one quote in particular from the newsweek article "conceiving of masculinity as something to be-a part to play-turns manliness into something ornamental and about as 'masculine' as fake eyelashes are inherently feminine". I think that really gets at the fact that masculinity for most is just a show. The wizard of oz i think is a pretty good metaphor. The image of the wizard represents masculinity-its just a facade, used as a means to an end, and even has typical masculine traits-intimidating, powerful and mysterious. whereas the man behind the curtain represents the reality of what men really are-just people who experience all the same emotions and feelings as everyone else. I think the pressure of having to live up to some unrealistic standard must be really hard. I know as a kid it was social suicide for a boy to cry about something, to them that was the end of the world. Granted it wasn't 'cool' for girls to cry but i mean if it happened, i dont think girls had nightmares about it. Also i think sometimes aggression stems from boys being so frustrated and tightly wound because something is bothering them and they feel like they don't have any emotional outlet so they let it out in a physical way. The whole notoin of rugged indiviualism, picking yourself up by the bootstraps, reinforces the thinking that its weak to rely on others-physically or emotionally. but at the same time, men do rely on each other just as much as women, its just portrayed in a different light. Being truly indivudal and not relying on anyone is seen as strange-so why is there such a stereotype taht only women rely on one another? I'm kind of all over the place with this, i just think the whole 'macho' ideal is such bullshit because its not based on any ounce of truth or reality. However like the newsweek article said, i think masculinity is starting to get a long overdue makeover-the men who can move beyond facevalue masculine ideals and embrace the reality that they are people with emotions and the ability to stay home wiht the kids and cook/clean are now starting to be seen as the ideal man, which i think is awesome. I know from my personal experience that the men who i respect most are those who are vulnerable and embrace the fact that they need other people- they rely on their families and take pride in the fact that their families mutally rely on them. I think that men who try to pretend that they are self-suffficient are very, see-through in a sense. For me anyway, guys i encounter who act like that come off as being extremely immature and arrogant and extremely insecure. they're not comfortable enough with the true 'man behind the curtain' so they put on the wizard front. Overall I think its really cool that society as a whole is starting to recognize and embrace the fact that men should not have to put on that front.